I’ve recently had to apply that phrase to myself. Everything was moving along exactly as planned. Until … it wasn’t. I found myself stunned and stalled and wondering, “What happened? What did I do wrong?” Well, nothing went wrong. Plans are all well and good. But infallible, they are not. Interesting thing: that’s ok.

I realized that even after having to change my plans, my end goal is still the same. It’s a huge, momentous occasion to realize I know what I want and I’m willing to find alternative paths to get there.  One of my new paths is taking me to a beautiful beach in Mexico this fall. I wouldn’t have even realized what I was missing if everything had worked out as planned.

It reminds of a line from The Alchemist:

He looks up at heaven and asks, “Why did you have to make me go through this journey? You must have known all the while that it is here”. The wind replies to him, “If I had told you, you wouldn’t have seen the Pyramids. Weren’t they beautiful?”

Instead of attending a yoga training program down the street, for just a little more money, I’ll be spending two weeks doing yoga on a beautiful beach. It’s good to travel the world. It opens our eyes to things we never realized even existed. There’s an exciting adventure on the horizon!

The down side? Wishing my life away until then. However, lest I forget, there’s an amazing, creative project that I’m working on. The most debilitating thing about being in the doldrums is temporarily forgetting all the wonderful things that exist in the world. Reboot complete. It’s nice to be back!

“Happiness is an attitude.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same.”  ~Francesca Reigler

However, I can share that I had the opportunity to attend a great event last Saturday, The California Readers Authors and Artists Luncheon. I met wonderful people full of knowledge, enthusiasm and really willing to help a novice author. For the record, this is not a hobby, this is my art. I feel more serious already!

The keynote speaker gave a talk explaining the key elements of story telling:

1. Character
2. Character traits
3. Goal
4. Motive creates suspense
5. Conflicts and problems
6. Risk and danger
7. Struggle
8. Details

On that note, let me tell you a little story. The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.

Spike and Lily decided to become a one car family. Lily got a job less than a mile away from their home.  They decided to reduce their carbon foot print and save some money so they got rid of one car.

Spike drops Lily off in the mornings. Friendly co-workers often give Lily a ride home. But thanks to the consistently pleasant California weather, it’s an easy walk even when she’s left to her own devices.

One unremarkable Monday morning, Spike and Lily were running very late for work. It’s difficult for Lily to justify being late seeing as how she lives so close to the office. Truth is, it’s difficult to wake up some mornings when your heart isn’t in the work you do and this was one of those mornings. Lily longs to spend her days in more creative ways and works very hard in her off hours to make that a reality.

At 9am Spike and Lily finally got themselves out the door and into their awesomely cool Mini Cooper. 5 minutes later they pull into the parking garage of Lily’s office. Lily gets out of the car and shuts the door. As she’s about to walk into the office building she realizes that her bag with her lunch, calender, walking shoes and, most importantly, her creative writing notebook, is stuck in the car door! She calls to Spike and thinks that, of course, he must realize there’s a problem but he doesn’t respond. She waves her arms wildly thinking that Spike will see her in the rear view mirror, but no. The parking attendant sees the bag drag along and also tries to get Spike’s attention, but no luck! PANIC.

After seconds, Lily remembers that she has her iPhone in her purse and can just call Spike. If only Lily hadn’t rebooted her iPhone the night before and not turned it back on. The iPhone, which she loves under most circumstances, takes about a minute to reboot when it’s been turned completely off. It is a computer after all. That minute has never seemed so long. Her fingers almost didn’t function as she punched in Spike’s phone number. Spike answers sounding surprised and a tad annoyed, he is running rather late. She explains the situation with the bag being caught in the door. Spike says he’ll pull over and see what’s going on. Spike calls back and tells Lily that the bag isn’t there. That’s when the horror of the situation really begins to sink in for Lily. The lunch, a beautiful avocado and tomato sandwich on wholewheat bread, could be easily replaced. The shoes are Sketchers Shape-Ups. They’re good walking shoes but expensive to replace. Mostly annoying because who wants to spend another $100 on homely looking shoes no matter how comfortable they are? Losing the calender is not the end of the world.

But the creative writing notebook?  Nooooooooo!

That’s Lily’s life! Her future! There are so many ideas in there, it can’t be gone! Then she goes numb. The office building almost doesn’t exist. Zombie-like she rides the elevator to the office. Tears are welling up in her eyes as Lily attempts to make it to her desk without having to speak to anyone. Somehow she finds herself sitting at her desk and stares at the blank screen of her computer which she doesn’t have the will to turn on. As she’s trying to figure out how to explain to her supervisor that she’s not able to work that day, her cell phone rings. It’s Spike. “Honey, I found your bag!” Lily is stunned into silence and her tears of frustration immediately turned  into tears of relief and joy. She runs to the elevator with an extra spring in her step and still tries to avoid people since she’s grinning like an idiot and wiping away tears.

Spike found the bag at a gas station just a half block away. The only thing missing was the lunch. The bag, a sentimental favorite, has a huge gash in the bottom. C’est la vie. Most importantly, the creative writing notebook was still there. The binding was a bit worse for wear. But for Lily, the contents are priceless. Spike has since suggested that she transfer the contents to a computer format that can be backed-up. She’s seriously considering it.

Lily is now a very grateful person. She thought she was grateful before, but when a precious possession she thought was lost forever was returned to her, she realized that someone out there felt she needed to learn a lesson. She makes extra sure to thank Spike every day and will attempt to never take her creativity for granted. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” ~Thornton Wilder

But why have only one new physical challenge when you can have two?  I’ve also been cutting back on coffee. I strongly believe that if I eat well, exercise and get enough sleep, artificial energy should not be necessary.  I’m even throwing frozen fruit and almond milk in a blender for a quick, healthy smoothie in the morning. It’s not a bad way to start the day.

The other challenge I’m conquering is accomplishing more personal goals either in the morning or after work during the week. I suspect my weekday mornings are full enough just with the yoga, and it’s not like 4am is really an option here. My focus now has to be on more writing and drawing in the evenings. It shouldn’t be too difficult to block off two hours for myself after work, so I’ll start with just one and make a commitment to myself.

When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills. – Chinese proverb

The best time to do yoga is supposed to be in those early morning hours. It’s called the amrit vela, the ambrosial period. The hours are basically from 3am to sunrise. That’s way early. Guess they don’t call ‘em sun salutations for nothin’. You’re really meant to be greeting the sun as it rises. Ain’t that a hoot?

I’ve woken up early to catch a plane or for special events in the past. It’s not something I’ve really enjoyed doing or sought out. I certainly don’t remember ever greeting the day and meditating while the sun rises.

I’ve always rather resented having to wake up early. First for school and now for work. Besides, aren’t we all conditioned to believe it’s so much cooler to stay up all night and sleep the day away? Then we ply ourselves with copious amounts of coffee to get through the day, but that’s ok on account of it being so cool. Somehow, being so incredibly cool is not working for me.

As I continually contemplate my new goals, I’m seriously considering taking ownership of those early morning hours. I often put things off that I really enjoy until after work because I can’t get out of bed. By the time 5pm rolls around I’m drained, unmotivated and ready to zone out in front of the tv. This needs to change.

The challenge is to change my internal wiring by sheer will power. My thought process must evolve from:

If I had the life I wanted I could sleep late. It’s horrible to have to wake up early to go to a job that bores me.

To:

What a joy and privilege it is to wake up at 6am and start my day with peace and calm. I get to take ownership of my day and accomplish great things.

Let’s hope evolution wins. 6am yoga tomorrow. Who’s with me?

Drawing doesn’t come easily to me. I’ve never considered being an artist which is surprising considering how much I enjoy looking at art. There’s something to be said for overcoming a lifetime of believing you’re not capable of something.

Boston terriers are really not that difficult to draw. They’re all shapes and blocks of color. Round head, triangle ears, rectangle body, column-like legs. It’s like they’re an adorable paint by numbers kit!

I’m working on bringing those shapes to life. illustrations will be posted soon. Think more 1930’s Mickey Mouse than “Up”. I don’t want anyone expecting Pixar! Although, if they’re interested in the rights, I might be open to that

Stay tuned.

The kundalini yoga chant that was going through my mind is from Ana Brett and Ravi Singh’s Warrior Workout DVD:

Chant the sound “Har” four times (Har means the power of the infinite) and then:

Gobinday (means Sustainer)
Mukunday (means Liberator)
Udaray (means Enlightener)
Uparay (means Infinite)
Hariang (means Destroyer)
Kariang (means Creator)
Nearnamay (means Nameless)
Akamay (means Desireless)

This mantra works on the heart center to develop compassion, patience and tolerance. It helps to clear any negativity and offers protection from dark forces. If you ever feel afraid of something that goes bump in the night, you might want to keep this in mind. It’s the yoga way of saying, “BACK OFF”…. sort of.

Granted it seems like a lot to remember and it did take me a while to get this down. I’ve been using the Warrior Workout DVD for over a year now and somewhere along the way it’s become ingrained in my mind.

To be clear, I was not actually chanting this at the convention center, just focusing my mind on these words. It helped me to stay alert and focused. People were very nice to me. Perhaps it did help keep the crazy, negative people away.

I came across this link for a free download of a musical version. Very new age-y but it has grown on me. I would recommend listening to this while sitting quietly and focusing on the words. Maybe even sing along if you feel so inclined. It’s like meditating with training wheels. There’s nothing wrong with that!

http://www.mrsikhnet.com/index.php/2006/02/14/gobinday-mukhanday/

Next week’s entry will be more in-depth. Fingers crossed that my week goes better than expected.

Cheers!

1. Toshi Belle -the sweetest and most loving bad-ass Boston terrier girl ever who came to live with us in February ‘09. (I wonder if Parker Gunn is grateful for that, too?)
2. Kundalini yoga – special thanks to Ana Brett and Ravi Singh for making such an esoteric branch of yoga accessible to us westerners.
3. Italy – my life will never be the same
4. Art – of all kinds.
5. Archaeology – Classical archaeology rocks! (bad pun intended!) Thanks to Italy for reminding me of that!
6. Gelato – Looks like all roads do lead to Rome!
7. My 5 minute commute to work – I’ve been through much worse
8. My husband who loves to cook and always fixes my computer problems
9. Family and Friends
10. The abundance of love in my life

Top 10 things I hope to accomplish in 2010

1. Yoga teacher training certification
2. Publish my childrens book and do the illustrations
3. Read more for fun
4. Wake-up earlier
5. Learn Italian – for real this time
6. Dance more often
7. Cook more and eat healthier on a regular basis
8. Stop working in a cubicle
9. Be more spontaneous
10. Start planning for Italy 2011!

I had the pleasure of traveling to Italy with my husband, Russ, in October 2009. We went to Venice, Florence, Pisa and Rome. Every city we visited was beautiful, full of history and moved me to tears at some point, sometimes several times. Venice had the good fortune of being our first stop. There are no cars allowed in Venice. Granted, it’s probably obvious but it’s not a fact that immediately comes to mind when one imagines Venice. We live in Los Angeles. We spend countless hours in our cars getting from place to place. To have that pollution-causing, time-sucking, stress-inducing factor removed was almost an instant relief to my fragile psyche.  (It’s possible the other cities we visited suffered by comparison on the merit of that fact alone.) There was a full moon shining over the canals. The weather, ambiance, architecture, food, and just about everything made me realize my life was missing  one vital ingredient: freedom.

It’s not that I work in a sweatshop. I just managed to get lost on the way to figuring out what to do with my life. Being in Venice made me realize that it’s possible to be engaged, interested and animated for a whole day. For the first time, the days didn’t seem long enough because there was so much to do and see. There was no need to look at a clock. It was sheer pleasure just to be walking outside, looking at the sites and taking pictures. Maybe stop for a gelato, maybe an espresso, and a little later, the house wine, vino della casa. Sigh!

I felt at home and happy. It made me determined to find a path in my life that would allow me to feel like that on a daily basis. Period. No more excuses.

There are 2 main things I want to accomplish in 2010.

1. Earn a yoga teacher certification
2. Get the children’s book I wrote published and do the illustrations myself

You may be thinking, “But those two things have nothing to do with Venice.” True. Let me explain my word for 2010: Freedom.  It’s a wee bit “Braveheart”, I know, but I came across this quote from Christopher Morley, “There is only one success, to be able to spend your life in your own way.”  Sounds like freedom to me! Freedom equals happiness. Freedom means not feeling like a drone. Freedom means being engaged with the world and accomplishing my goals. Freedom means finally becoming my own hero.

My goal is to post one blog every Monday. I may soon expand to Thursdays as well. The subjects of my posts will be:

1) the process of deciding on a yoga teacher training program and my subsequent progress 2)my children’s book and illustrations and 3) Italy, my experiences and future travel plans.

It would be lovely if there were people out there who found this interesting and would be willing to offer their thoughts and advice and even share their own goals. Life is too short to be unhappy. Let’s rock 2010!